My Life. Through the eyes of the unseen.

Empty.

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 15:28:53 -0400

Empty.

sydneyrenestuart: Google lol limewire, then click “I’m Feeling...

Wed, 17 Mar 2010 02:43:00 -0400

sydneyrenestuart:

Google lol limewire, then click “I’m Feeling Lucky”

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Mon, 08 Mar 2010 13:42:52 -0500

coolest hair„, ever

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 20:06:58 -0500

coolest hair„, ever

Welcome to the Good Burger, home of the good burger!

Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:34:13 -0500

can I take your order?

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Thu, 18 Feb 2010 15:09:54 -0500

I said maybe

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 12:03:23 -0500

You’re gonna be the one that saves me

and after all,

your my wonderwall….

Video

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:10:20 -0500

Sydney Stewart: What'd you watch?

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:24:43 -0500

[5:57:12 PM] Sydney Stewart: What'd you watch?
[5:57:31 PM] Chris: i love you, man
[5:57:53 PM] Sydney Stewart: Awh
[5:58:00 PM] Sydney Stewart: I love you too bro, but what'd you watch?
[5:58:21 PM] Chris: thats wat i watched!!!
[5:58:24 PM] Chris: lol
[5:58:34 PM] Sydney Stewart: You didn't tell me what you watched though?
[5:58:43 PM] Chris: i love you, man
[5:59:05 PM] Sydney Stewart: Bro, i love you too. Cool?

Photo

Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:36:11 -0500

Free Falling

Sun, 31 Jan 2010 22:03:37 -0500

I dont know how it happened. I just kinda slipped. But now I was falling to my death. This wasnt in the inspection process. I was just on my way back in from on top of the roof. But I’ve always wondered what goes through your head while plummeting to a certain death. Well, time to find out…

My parents had died 7 years previous from a homicide. Would I finally get to meet back up with them?

My fiancee and our baby on the way. I grew up without a dad, but hopefully he knows i truly do love him.

Will this hurt? The street was coming nearer and nearer.

Finally, i let out a scream. There was nothing else i could do. No more thoughts. No more caring. Just the thud of my body slamming into the street and then darkness. Am i alive, i still dont know. I cant move anything. I can barley make out people. I hear my heartbeat in my ears. Its so soothing i slowly drift away. But am awakened by the sound of sirens. Everything is blurry and the sirens seem to mix together with the sounds of everyone around. I keep going in and out of darkness. The doctors ask me questions, but I cant reply. They load me in the ambulance and i drift away to unconsciousness. When i awake, i hear my fiancee and the doctor talking. All i hear is something about pulling the plug. I wish they do. Im in no control of anything. But the doctor advises her not to. I cant do anything to stop them. I then hear something about possibly recovering. Slowly, the darkness creeps back in though. When i awake, i see a little boy in his mothers arms. After a while, i realize this boy is my son. I feel tears fill up in my eyes, but they wont fall. He looks so beautiful. I then notice my fiancee. Or hopefully she still is. I try to reach out to her, but cant. I try as hard as i can, but then darkness takes over again. When i come back to it, there is a grown man and women by my bed. Both are crying. The women is much to young to be my wife though. They then drop a card bearing my wife’s picture on it. I make out the words “In Memory,” on the front. Oh no, this can not be happening. My son, and what must be his wife, have come to try and let me know the love of my life is dead. Why her and not me! But then darkness takes over again. That feeling of free falling comes back and i lose all control. I then lose all knowledge of life. And this time, i dont wake up…

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Sun, 24 Jan 2010 21:25:47 -0500

My Wolf Pack

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 17:04:40 -0500

You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack… it grew by one. So there… there were two of us in the wolf pack… I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, “Wait a second, could it be?” And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together.

The car was his casket...

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:06:16 -0500

The sun didn’t rise today. But no one seemed to notice. It seemed as nothing had happened to the world. So why am I the only one freaking out? Am i the only one that seems to notice the sky is black and our thoughts are blacker? My once loving heart is now a crumbling stone. The once joyous child is now locking himself in the room of his darkest secrets. But no one cares. They didn’t know him like i did. No one did. How much more can this last? Days pass. Then weeks. No change. The world is still full of blackness I search for answers but can’t find any. I decide to go over to her house. That’s all I can think to do. That’s all i can do. When she opens the door, i see her beautiful smile. I then turn to see the sun rising. I see the kids playing at the park and families on their daily strolls together. I finally see the joys of life now without him. I see him in the birds singing, the wind breezing through the trees, the laughter of everyone. I turn back around to face her. That’s when I see him most again. In her smile. I don’t think she realizes it, but her being happy is what keeps me moving on. I hope she does. Because words can’t always say it. Smiles sometimes work just as good.

I'm afraid...

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 23:31:38 -0500

I’m afraid of letting others down. I’m afraid of heights. I’m afraid of dying young. I’m afraid that I’ll never meet my dad. I’m afraid money will ruin my life. I’m afraid everything i fight for will be for nothing. I’m afraid of loosing those closest to me because I won’t know who to turn to then. I’m afraid of dying a slow death. I’m afraid that one day I won’t know who i am anymore. I’m afraid that I’ll never find true love. I’m afraid I’ll never get the connection with God i truly want. I’m afraid. But somehow i get through it all. Sometimes because of you. I’m very grateful. Thank you.

I wake up in cold sweats...

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 22:14:28 -0500

How much longer will these last? Dreams aren’t supposed to be this real. Why must they be so terrible? The feeling of never knowing when it’ll end is what scares me most though. One minute im talking to her on the phone awake. In real time. Where memories feel like yesterday and the joy of life is all around. Its only a matter of time that her voice slowly fades away and my world becomes dark. When the mind takes over doing anything it wants. My dream’s are to be a pro football player playing with the biggest names in the league. Why is it that my mind’s dreams are not playing football, but rather playing life and death with creatures that seem to have just walked out of hell. Or maybe I’m the one walking into hell. Running for my life. Most people say they run toward a light at the end of the tunnel. I just run deeper into this black abyess with no where to go. Creatures with wings are above me, beasts with huge fangs are running by me, and there seems to always be eyes watching all around me constantly. I can’t stop, I won’t stop. Not because i don’t want to, but because I can’t. Something always seems to be right at my heels. I try to wake myself up but can’t. I feel it grab on to my leg and pull me back. Dragging me arcross the rocks that cover the ground. My whole body fills with pain. I scream out and try to fight it off. But it’s to strong. The jaws of the unknown slice in to me. I scream even louder but to no effect. And just as I lose all feeling, I wake up. My parents are standing above me. I’m not in my bed though. I’m in the hall outside my room. I still have no feeling, but can see my mom terrified. Why isn’t dad trying to comfort her? I then see him on his knee’s, crying too. I feel something warm and thick drip down my arm. I then realize it isn’t just on my arm. It’s covering my whole body. It feels as if it’s pooling up underneath my back. I look down to find cuts all over my body. I can’t scream anymore and no tears seem to be flowing down my face, but the pain is unbearbale. I hear my mom screaming though. Or is it my dad? I can’t tell anymore. Everything seems to be spinning together now. The pain starts to leave. I see the eyes in front of me. Aren’t those supposed to be in my dreams? They look right through me as if i wasn’t even here. I still see my parents though, as each grab a hand of mine. But they slowly fade into the creatures from my dreams. I try to stop it, but can’t. I’m soon overwhelmed into complete darkness. Even more creatures are here now. Maybe I’m just dreaming. Or maybe my dream’s have come to life.

And i can ride my bike with no handlebars

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:22:41 -0500

But its the crash that i like most. More so, the free fall. As if im gliding toward the rough concrete and soon to be skinned knee with no worries. Pulling myself up with the biggest grin on my face hoping the cute girl across the street saw me. Maybe she’ll feel feel bad for me. Hopefully she’ll come out to check on me. Maybe even invite me back over to her house. That would be nice. I could watch a movie with her. Halfway through it we’ll realize there was a better one still sitting on the shelf. Guess I’ll have to come back some other day to watch that one. Great! But does she think I’m cute too? I’ll probably make up some lame story just to get closer to her. 5 minutes later as we’re both laughing from a scene I’ll inch over again. I think she noticed that time. I then look over and see her inching toward me too. But right as we meet, my phone rings. Its the motherly goose calling me back home. I apologize for having to leave early but thank her for her time. She walks me to the door but before i can leave she turns me around for a hug. Before we let go of one another i feel her lips on my cheek. I ask if we can continue this maybe some other day. She gladly accepts and I walk out the door only to find myself walking out of my dream too. I hate these times so much. As i leave my house for school i glance across the street. There she is, smiling right back at me. I think i may try to ride my bike with no handlebars later. Hopefully dreams do come true.

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Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:54:52 -0500

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Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:02:19 -0500